Throw the Stress Away!

Do the holidays tend to stress you out? I know that for many, it can feel overwhelming. Everyone is constantly running around trying to get gifts, go to all the functions, and still try to stay within our budgets.  We end up feeling frustrated and taking it out on those that we love the most.

The very ones we are trying to create memories with.

Now, I would love to say that I have all the answers.  If I did, I would be as wise as King Solomon.  Unfortunately, I do not possess all the wisdom in the world.  I can only give you knowledge from experience.

I know!  It’s shocking!

Anyway, this past year, I decided to work on myself and my self-care.  I would love to say I have reached the place where I have found tranquility and peace, but sadly, I still have a way to go.  Every day, I must take specific measures to ensure my peace of mind.

People, perimenopause is a real thing!

Now, I won’t go into all of my personal issues. I’m sure you don’t want to know. However, I will tell you that breathing is a vital part of living. So instead of allowing this year to become as hectic as it would usually be, I decided to continue breathing in a normal way. Not in that anxious sort of manner. That only messes with the rhythm of my heart. The adjustments I made this season have made things so much easier.

Now you may be one of those people who already have it altogether. You don’t stress about the holidays. If so, please share some of your tips with me! I’m always up for trying things that will make life easier. Below, I am going to give you a few of the tips I have been using. My daughter even commented this year that things seemed different. She noticed the environment in our home has been much more relaxed.

My encouragement to you today is to take time during this holiday season to slow down and shift your mindset.

1. Everyone doesn’t have to get a gift.

I don’t care how much the world tells you that you should; you do not have to buy everyone a gift.  There was a time I would stress over it.  I was worried about our finances.  I finally realized I needed to make some adjustments.  We have a rule in our home that we buy one big gift for our kids and a few smaller gifts to go with it.  The rest of our family usually gets some type of homemade goodie or gift.  We have done bath salts, crocheted ornaments, cookies, bread, pies, and vanilla flavoring.  There have been times we have bought from local sources to show support.  Some of you may make a face when I say this, but I have even purchased thrifted gifts. The HORROR!  

We have never spent a whole lot, and our family completely understood. Gifting isn’t a competition to see who can give the best gift.  It’s about the thoughtfulness behind it.  Why in the world would you go into debt trying to please someone else? Is that really being a good steward of your money? Gifting is about the thoughtfulness behind it. Yet, gifting still isn’t required.  It’s about being with family and enjoying the moment. 

2. You don’t have to make every party.  

This one is probably just as controversial as the previous one, and we may have to agree to disagree.  However, for my sanity and the sanity of my family, we make sure to not overbook ourselves.  Select the parties that are most important to you and your family.  I promise, people will understand. 

This does include church events. I’m careful about how I say this because I don’t want it to be taken the wrong way. If you are a pastor’s wife, it is tempting to do all of the things for your church during the holidays. We want our church to look the best, right? We want to make sure that everyone in our church is taken care of and knows they are loved. Yet, what good would it be to us if we wore ourselves to the ground in the process? Simple is sometimes the better option. Yet, if you want to go all out, then be sure to use those in your church to help you. However, just remember, they are dealing with the same pressures of the holidays as you are. The last thing we need is to add more stress to those under our care.

3. Don’t neglect your immediate family.

This one is an important one! The last thing you need to do is make your kids and spouse feel overly stressed about the holidays.  Ask them for their opinions.  Children are great about letting you know how they feel. If you do a Christmas tree, allow your kids to be involved.  We have a tradition of buying one new ornament each year for each child.  We place their name and date on the back or bottom of the ornament, and each child hangs their own ornaments every year.  Sometimes they end up clustered, and it throws me off visually, but it’s okay.  They are making memories.

I had a friend in Texas who gave me an interesting idea. Create a gift box for Jesus that goes under the tree every year. In that box, the child creates something to put inside to wish Him a happy birthday. The goal is to make sure they understand the main reason this day was set aside.

If you’ve decided to gift, now’s a great time to let your kids get involved in making gifts.  It will mean so much more to them when they see the other person open the gift they crafted with their own little hands.  Let them sample their baked creations.  My kids love to lick the whisk, spoon, or bowl.   

Play some fun board games!  My smallest is only 7, so there are some games he doesn’t completely get.  However, UNO is a favorite of his.  It is a great time for him to learn that we don’t always win.  We have some pretty competitive people in our family.

4. Remember your church family.

There are those within your church who do not have anyone to celebrate the holidays with.  Or maybe there are those who are struggling financially.  Keep your eyes and ears open.  Pray and ask the Lord to show you those you might bless.  After all, shouldn’t we care for our brothers and sisters in the Lord?

5. Find ways to enjoy the moments.

Dance with your spouse or kids to your favorite Christmas song.  Bake cookies together.  Take a drive and look at all of the Christmas lights.  Go to your local Christmas parade.  We are blessed to have a local Christmas event near us every weekend in December leading up to Christmas.  They have carriage rides, ice skating, kiddie train rides, and several other activities for the kids.

Bottom line: enjoy every moment!

My prayers are with you through this holiday season. Keep in the forefront of your mind the real reason this day was set aside. Even though this isn’t Christ’s actual birthday, it is a time to celebrate the fact that God came in the flesh just to eventually die for our sins. What better thing to focus on than the King of Kings?

I hope that you have enjoyed this post and gleaned some encouragement from it. I am sure there are so many other things that I haven’t listed here. If you think of more, please list them in the comments below.

Merry Christmas from our home to yours!