The Struggle With Patience

I want to start this post off with a question, one in which I hope the answer you give will be honest. 😉 Do you struggle with patience? Or are you one of those who simply go with the flow, trusting that when the time is right, God will do exactly what He says He will do when He wants to? You know, like the song states, “He may not come when you want Him, but He’s right on time.” 

If you answered “no” to the first question and “yes” to the second one, we may have to shake hands and part ways. Because I unfortunately fall into the first category.  

I’m just kidding!  

Seriously though, I would love to say that I am that individual who fully trusts God to work things out in His own time. You know, I ask for what I need, and then I wait patiently on the Lord. I mean, after all, that is what Romans 8:25 tells me to do.  

“But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.” King James Version  

Yet, here I am, struggling with the “when” God will answer my need. I run headlong into the situation and decide to do something about it myself. In the end, I make a mess out of everything. Please understand that I trust God with every part of my being. My children are examples of my faith in what He can do. The problem is that sometimes I let myself get in the way of God being able to do what He needs to.  

Today, I am going to share a little story with you about an instance where I decided to do things my way instead of waiting. This little snippet doesn’t technically have to do with God, but it just shows you how strong-willed I can be.  

Let me begin by saying that my mother has told me and anyone who will listen to NEVER pray for patience. She said she did that very thing, and God gave her me. (Insert eye-roll here.) I mean, what kid wants to think they caused that much grief to their mother? However, the older I have gotten, the more I realize the truth of her statement. I think not only was God laughing at her and saying, “Oooooo, let me show you patience,” I believe he was also in the process of creating my being and laughing hysterically, saying, “This child will be the epitome of patience for everyone who comes into contact with her, AND she will learn patience throughout her entire existence.”  

The Beginning of my Struggle with Patience

In 2006, God called my husband and me to pastor a home missions church in Texas. This within itself is a whole other post, but to spare you, I will try to keep most of this brief and maybe do a post on that journey another day. Anywho, this journey required me to leave everything I knew behind and move into an area where I knew no one and did not even have a home. Talk about faith! Whew!!  

After a year there, the Lord opened up an opportunity for us to purchase a home. Once the minor cosmetic renovations were completed, we were able to move in. One area, however, the kitchen tile, was just U-G-L-Y! It was hunter green, and the grout was brownish black from never being sealed. The money was tight. So much so that we lived without a stove for about 6 months as we were trying to do as much as possible with cash. I learned that an electric skillet can provide many delicious meals.  

Now, my daughter says that I am a germaphobe. I have to disagree, yet I do take issue with people sneezing or coughing in my personal space, talking over my cup, or not washing their hands upon leaving the bathroom. So, see, I’m not all that bad!  

The tile I was willing to live with until we could afford other options, but the grout—that was a whole other issue. It was just gross! Now if you remember from my blog post “But Wait…There’s More!” I talked about my toxic chemical reaction with bleach. See, bleach and I have a long-standing rocky history. Bleach is the answer to killing all those nasty germs. Yet, when I deal with bleach, even though I try my hardest to be careful, I still end up with some hilarious stories. Whether from almost killing myself, not being able to get a window open, or getting it all over me to the point of eating through my clothes, it usually always ends in disaster.  

Let me preface this by saying that I did not have any children at this time. So, no harm came to anyone but me. It may be what is mentally wrong with me today.  

My husband had told me that he would look into the cost of cleaning the grout and getting it sealed. I was happy with that; however, I just could not stand the thought of this grout looking so gross, and I knew that it wasn’t in our budget anytime soon. Before any of you go asking me in the comments why I didn’t just look it up on my phone, you must realize that my flip phone wasn’t as savvy as all of that. I relied on the fact that I knew bleach would whiten anything you put it on and clean out all the nasty dirt. Yet, I did read somewhere that using vinegar and baking soda would work just as well, so I decided to try that first.  

I put baking soda on the grout and poured vinegar over the top, then scrubbed the whole kitchen floor. It took me half the day to scrub all the nooks and crannies. When I got to the end, I opened the windows in the kitchen and waited an hour for them to dry.  

I returned to grout that looked exactly the same as it did when I started!!  

What I did next was my lack of patience getting involved. I just didn’t have the patience to wait for it to be in the budget. Plus, I was so frustrated that I had wasted half of my day on something that didn’t work. I needed it to be clean right then. So, I took my trusty jug of bleach, made sure the windows were still open (I mean, a draft helps smell, right?) and began pouring bleach in small areas and scrubbing it again all while on my hands and knees.  

IF you do not know this, I will tell you so that you NEVER EVER do what I did. When vinegar is mixed with bleach, it is highly toxic.  

My brain never registered any of that. I was impatient and continued to scrub. About halfway through scrubbing the floor, I started to feel a little woozy; my eyes were burning, and my throat felt scratchy. I stepped outside to get some air, then came back and continued to scrub. Then it hit me—Ammonia! I ran through the house, raising all the windows. Apparently, the grout wasn’t fully dry, and the vinegar still reacted to the bleach.  

My husband came home from work and walked past the window that opened into the kitchen. His first response was, “What did you do?” He knows me so well. He proceeded to tell me that I could have killed myself because of my impatience. How right he was!  

I read something recently that hit me on the head like brick.  

Patience is an active response to opposition, not a passive resignation to the inevitable.  

Woman’s Study Bible, New International Version Commentary, p. 839 

I realized that all this time I have thought that if I sit back and do nothing, then nothing will ever be done. I would love to say that this “brick on the head” moment has reformed me of my impatient ways; however, sadly, I am still working on that part of me. Yet, it has caused me to stop and think before I act.  

I have taught those in my care that “a soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” The point being that even when you want to explode, sometimes you have to have patience in answering those around you. That I get. Yet, to have patience in the day-to-day task, I suffer immensely. I feel the need to do all the things NOW. My family knows how I am. I am NOT a procrastinator, and for some reason God chose to put me with one and to have children with similar attributes. It tests my patience every day, but I must learn to set myself aside and realize that, in doing so, I am not admitting defeat. It just means it may take a little longer than I anticipated.  

Jesus was the prime example of patience. Yet, there were times I am sure He rolled His eyes at his disciples’ disbelief. Take, for instance, Mark 8:12, when the Bible says He sighed deeply in His spirit regarding the Pharisees and their attempt to tempt Him. Then, not long after that, He told His disciples to “beware of the leaven of the Pharisees,” to which the disciples concluded He was referring to the fact they had forgotten to pack bread to eat along their journey. His response was, “How is it that ye do not understand?”  

It makes me feel better knowing that Jesus still felt frustrated at certain times. However, patience is still a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). One that we are required to have.  

Galatians 5:24–25 states:  

“And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”  

Patience isn’t admitting defeat; it is learning to trust the process. There are times that the car driving slowly in front of you with no way to pass is God’s way of keeping you from an accident that may be waiting ahead or a possible ticket. The flat tire at home was better than a flat tire while driving down the road. Or it could be something similar that happened to us. Before leaving town, we discovered that the electrical sockets had stopped working, prompting us to switch off the corresponding breaker. Later, we learned that our house could have caught fire if we hadn’t addressed the issue.  

Sometimes God tests our patience to slow us down and teach us to trust Him completely. His timing is perfect (Ecclesiastes 3:1). We just have to learn to break this old flesh and cause it to submit as it should.   

I will end this with this vital Scripture from James 1:4:  

“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”  

Let’s remember to embrace the chaos, find the laughter, and let’s conquer life’s mishaps together with patience as our guide. 

Remember, I’m always praying for you, even if I don’t know who you are!

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