The Challenge of Trust

I’m going to start this post off with a question.  One in which I think may be difficult for some people.  Who do you have in your life that you can truly trust?  Think of someone other than your spouse.  Who was the first person that came to mind?  Now, let’s rephrase this question.  Who in your life can trust you?  This one should obviously include your spouse if you are married, yet I want you to think beyond that.  Trust isn’t something that we simply do.  Trust in others can be a challenge.  However, trustworthiness is one of the elements that are essential to positive mental health.  And that, my dear friend, is the topic we are going to cover today. 

Trust Leads to Positive Mental Health

Now, I know this may not be deep for some of you, but for those of us who deal with trust issues, I think this could be very beneficial.  I recently wrote a post on “Crafting a Proverbs 31 Lifestyle with Reasonable Independence.”  In that post, I talked in depth about “Sally” (our imaginary name for the unnamed Proverbs 31 woman) and how she used the cycle of love and respect in her marriage.  In that same post, I offered you some bonus tips for love and respect in your marriage. 

If you haven’t downloaded them yet, click here and get them for free!

I’m taking my Scripture for this post from that same chapter.  Let’s begin at Proverbs 31:10.

“A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.” New International Version

Have you seen the price of rubies?  They can range up to $1,000,000 per carat!!  That’s a whole lot of value for a woman of character.  This tells me that our character is extremely important in our walk with God.  Yet, we don’t want to stop there.  Trust is significant in building our character.

Let’s keep reading!

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12, NIV

Say what?!  Trust is key in these two verses!

The fact that “Sally’s” husband doesn’t worry about a single thing in their relationship speaks volumes here.  She has gained his trust.  She has proven to him that she will be faithful.  She has proven to him that he can rely on her in any situation. 

“Sally” is the epitome of trust!

Here is what I think—possibly more like what I know from experience.  “Sally” trusts her husband just as much as he trusts her.  They have both worked on that part of their relationship.  Each proving to the other that they can be trusted.  Trustworthiness is key in their marriage.  And because of this, they can live in peace with each other, not worrying about what tomorrow may hold.  Both “Sally” and her husband realize that trust in their relationship leads them to a positive mental health attitude.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I would not doubt that there are times that “Sally” and her husband have disagreements.  What marriage doesn’t?  I do not believe there is any marriage out there that is 100% perfect. 

Every marriage requires work, but the number one thing that a marriage requires is TRUST!

The same can be said of our personal and professional relationships.  To me, those require a little more effort.  Maybe I feel that way because I have trusted my husband from day one and have not had to experience the grief associated with a lack of trust in a marriage relationship.  For that, I am extremely grateful.  So please, if you have these issues within your marriage, do not think that I take any of your situation lightly.  As a matter of fact, if you are struggling with trust in your marriage, I highly recommend that you seek counsel from your pastor and possibly a professional to get your marriage back on the right path.  There are also programs, of which my husband is certified, called “Prepare and Enriched” that you can do as a couple to help enrich your marriage.

The reason I feel that personal and professional relationships require a little more effort is that we do not live with the individual.  We do not have the opportunity to see their innermost thoughts.  We see them on occasion, and in those moments, we only see the side of them that they want us to see.  In these instances, we have to gain the individual’s trust.

How do we gain the trust of others?

Simply answered: Prove to the individual that they can trust you.  You have to show that you can be trusted before gaining the trust of someone else. 

Let’s look at a couple more verses.

“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.  When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.” Proverbs 31:20, NIV

“She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.” Proverbs 31:24, NIV

Each of these verses tells me that “Sally” gained the trust of those within her immediate circle AND those in her personal and professional circles.  She did this by being an example of trust.  She proved to those around her that they could rely on her.  She looked out for those in need.  She made sure her family was well cared for. She also proved to those in the market that the garments she was marketing were worth their value.  Yet, one thing stood out the most to me: her speech.

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” Proverbs 31:26-28, NIV

Oh, the one area that all of us struggle with the most is guarding our tongues.  The one thing that ONLY God can tame.  However, “Sally” shows us that trust was earned by speaking wisdom and giving faithful instruction to those in her circle of influence.

Colossians 4:5–6 gives us the example we need to follow to gain the trust of others.

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” NIV

The kids in my classroom at school know the last part of this verse by heart because I repeat it consistently (just in the King James Version).  My actions and my words let others know if they can or cannot trust me.

Now to our key point of the day: how trust is an element of positive mental health. Psychology Today wrote:

“People who trust each other can work together more effectively at home, at work, or elsewhere. They are also more willing to share intimate information, which can reduce the risk of anxiety and depression and build a stronger sense of self.”

Psychology Today: Trust

See that!  It can reduce the risk of anxiety and depression and build a stronger sense of self.  This is why trust is so important.  Don’t make trust a difficult thing.  Show others that they can trust you so that, in turn, you will be able to trust them.

I don’t know about you, but I am all about being happy in my life.  I want to live my life to the fullest extent possible.  To do that, I know that I need to make self-care a consistent habit.

So far, we have previously covered two other elements necessary for positive mental health.  If you haven’t had the opportunity to read those posts yet, click on the links below to take you directly to them.  I truly think you will benefit from the read.

Also, I have created a YouTube video breakdown of each post.  In these videos, I delve a little deeper.  I will link those as well.  Be sure to like and subscribe to the channel for the latest updates.

1^st Element: A Sense of Humor—“Laughter: The #1 Medicine”

Video Link: Laugh Your Way to Better Health: Unveiling the Power of Laughter as the Ultimate Medicine!

2^nd Element: Reasonable Independence- “Crafting a Proverbs 31 Lifestyle with a Dash of Reasonable Independence”

Video Link: Unveiling Proverbs 31: Navigating Reasonable Independence | Dive into the Blog Insights!

Know that my prayers are for each and every one of you every day, even if I don’t know you. 😉