This past month has been a roller coaster ride for me physically. Never in my life did I think that I would be going through the things that I have. I figured the extent of my troubles would be PCOS, or endometriosis, with a side of normal routine sickness. However, I have learned differently. Yet, through it all, I have made myself get up and keep going. I would painfully get up, but I would get up none the less. I refused to let myself get down. I will thank my mom and dad for instilling that in my life.
This morning, I was praying and asking the Lord for guidance on what to write today to encourage you during this mid-week encouragement post. For me personally, prayer has been at the forefront of my mind. Going deeper, drawing closer, and learning to really listen for the voice of the Lord. In these areas, I have been wanting to personally grow. So I have made sure that no matter how busy I get, I stop and take time out for just me and God. I admit that it has been tough. However, I have learned that, for me, the best time to get my moment in is before the day even gets started. By doing this, my days go a lot smoother. Trust me, there have been times I get up and think of all the things that I really need to take care of because I know my time is short, but I do my best to push those thoughts aside and stop. I’m human after all, and my flesh does like to rear its ugly head.
At the beginning of the month, without going into too much detail, I started to have some physical issues. I tried treating myself, but there was no relief. I eventually called my doctor, and they stated that I was doing all that I should be doing, but maybe they could call me something a little stronger in. I took the medicine, and within three days of the final treatment, I broke out in bumps and blisters all over my arms. I was still in pain, and now I had this added on top of it all. I was miserable. I called my doctor, and they thought I had a reaction to the medicine. Yet they had me treat myself one more time with another over-the-counter medicine. By the end of that treatment, I couldn’t hardly walk. I kept pushing myself. I prayed and asked God for His healing.
I woke up one morning to swelling. I had no idea what was going on. I finally told my mother and asked her to help me pray. The next morning, I woke to swelling beyond what was even normal in a human. Since it was a Sunday, I found myself relying on my mom to come and get me and take me to urgent care. It was at this point that I could have wallowed in self-pity. “Why me, God? Why is this happening to me??” Yet, I didn’t.
“…I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” Psalm 34:1, King James Version
This wasn’t going to change things for me. This wasn’t going to get me down. No matter what the outcome was, I was going to praise the Lord.
The thought was that I was having a severe allergic reaction to what I was taking once again. I went to my doctor the next day to see what was happening. Needless to say, they were in shock. How was I even walking in there? By the grace of God! Test were done, and I was to find the results within a week. In the meantime, the orders were to take it easy.
Ummmm…..Nope! I had to get up!
Now, you’re probably thinking that I have lost my mind and gone crazy by this point, but I am here to tell you that my God never fails. How we react to our circumstances plays a role in how He answers. I ended up in church every night that week. Oh, it was painful, but I kept moving. God was doing miraculous things, and I wasn’t about to miss one moment of it. During those services, I watched both of my children worship God with all of their hearts. I watched His Spirit flow all over them. That in itself was worth every step.
Which brings me to the lame man at the pool of Bethesda. He had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. Jesus comes past him and proceeds to ask him in verse six, “Wilt thou be made whole?” I like how the New International Version puts it: “Do you want to get well?” The first thing Jesus wanted to know was if he cared enough about his situation to do something about it, no matter what it required.
I’m amazed at how the lame man responded, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” (verse 7, NIV). What?! He automatically went into self-pity mode. He wanted to point out that nobody cared enough about him to help him. Now, I’m not making light of the lame man’s issues. I am sure that he desperately wanted to be healed. Yet, how did he get to the pool in the first place? Someone had to get him there. He had enough faith to believe that stepping into the water would heal him. Yet, when confronted with the question of whether he really wanted to get healed, all he could respond with was the fact that no one was there to help him with his troubles. His reliance was in the wrong place—people.
Jesus saw past his self-pity, looked at the lame man’s desire to be healed, and spoke.
“Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”
The Bible says in verse nine that immediately the man was made whole, took up his bed, and walked. There is the key. He did as he was told. I don’t know if he felt the physical change or if he even saw the physical change. All I know is that the Bible says he took up his bed and walked.
Are you willing to get up and walk?
Instead of wallowing in self-pity, are you willing to set it aside and ask yourself if you are really ready to be changed and do something about your situation? Once God knows that you are willing to do whatever it takes to be whole, He will come through in your situation! Just remember, the response may not always be what you expect, but sitting in self-pity when you don’t get your way will not help you get the results that you “NEED”. There is a difference.
I would love to say that God gave me a miracle for my faithfulness, but He didn’t. Yet, I do believe I’m on the road to healing. This past month and even today, I could be saying, “Woe is me!” However, whether this battle is spiritual or physical, I’m going to get up and walk away with confidence that God is by my side. I’m going to keep pressing.
In verse fourteen of that same chapter, Jesus meets back up with the lame man in the temple.
“See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” NIV
That was blunt enough, in my opinion.
“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, Neither have entered into the heart of man, The things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9, KJV
I don’t know what God has in store, but I do know that I am going to do my best to live for Him. When the answer is “no,” I’m still going to keep getting up and walking in His presence. What about you? Are you going to set the “Woe is me!” mentality aside and get up?
Remember, I’m praying for you, even if I don’t know who you are!
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Great article, Susan. I loved it! I can identify with you completely. Keep writing. Love you.