Crafting a Proverbs 31 Lifestyle with a Dash of Reasonable Independence

The mention of a Proverbs 31 lifestyle often elicits feelings of inadequacy among women. The sheer expectations seem overwhelming, making us question our ability to measure up to such a seemingly perfect standard. It’s almost as if this woman, whom I’ll casually refer to as “Sally” (I don’t think I personally know anyone named Sally, so it seems like a safe name), was a superhuman figure. In my mind, someone similar to She-Ra.

Please tell me you know who She-Ra is?!

Looking at the Proverbs 31 woman in today’s society, we think that there is no possible way that we could do any of the things she was able to do. We may even be so bold as to say, “She didn’t have a job outside of the home and then have to come home and had to do all of the household chores!” 

First, let me say that I understand where you are coming from. Looking at these verses has always been very daunting to me. I had it in my mind that I could never measure up to this woman. My life is consistently busy, and there are days when I go to bed and feel like I have neglected my family or even my wifely responsibilities. I would ask God to forgive me and help me to be a better mother and wife the next day, only to feel like I failed again.

However, let’s reconsider these verses with a fresh perspective. Instead of viewing them as an unattainable checklist, let’s focus on one crucial element: “Reasonable Independence.” I want to assure you that God doesn’t demand perfection, but rather your sincere effort.

"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.  She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard." Proverbs 31:12-16, New International Version

“Sally” appears remarkably independent in her actions. While she juggles tasks like sewing, grocery shopping, and making wise financial decisions, there’s a key detail to note – she had help. She wasn’t alone; she had female servants. This reminds us that seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness, and even the Proverbs 31 woman had a support system.

Remember! God doesn’t Demand perfection, but rather your sincere effort.

I think it is important to note that embracing “Reasonable Independence” doesn’t mean disregarding the importance of communication and respect in a marriage. “Sally’s” decisions were likely made in collaboration with her husband, showcasing a healthy partnership where both partners trust each other to handle daily matters.

The core of “Sally’s” actions is rooted in her desire to care for her husband and family. Love and respect go hand in hand in her relationship, creating a harmonious marriage. This dynamic not only enhances your relationship with your spouse but positively impacts your emotional and mental well-being, fostering patience with your children and those around you.

If you are interested in tips on “Love & Respect”, you can download them for free here!

Moving on to “Sally’s” commitment to the heart of her home, she ensures her family is clothed and fed, focusing on providing rather than stressing over unnecessary things. This teaches us a valuable lesson – less is more, and expensive doesn’t determine social status.

I’m going to throw in a little story here just for fun. Growing up, my parents did the best they could for us kids. One of the biggest ways they contributed to my life was by making me earn anything that I wanted. Barbie was my jam. I had so many. It was the one thing I asked for on every birthday or Christmas. On occasion, my mom would buy me one outside of those dates, but it wasn’t often. I could beg and plead, but my mother would stand firm.

Later on in life, as a teen, I decided I didn’t want to use the personal care supplies that my parents used. I wanted my own products. They informed me that if I wanted something other than what they purchased, then it would be up to me to make the purchase for myself out of my own money.

Eventually, I graduated from school and started working. That’s when I was informed it was time to pay half of my car insurance. I can remember going to test drive a car with my dad and him telling me that it was my decision, but when he sat me down and we put pen to paper, he showed me that if I chose a certain vehicle, I would have nothing left over at the end of the month.

Reality!

These were some of the best lessons I learned and have been passing on to my own children. As far as I know, I came out as a decent member of society.  

Now, consider the verse where “Sally” sees a field, buys it, and makes it profitable for her family – all with her “own” money. This act symbolizes financial independence and wise decision-making. The key here is strategic investments that contribute to the household’s well-being. This decision-making process likely involved communication with her husband, reinforcing the importance of a united front in decision-making.

“Reasonable Independence” positively impacts mental health by providing a sense of control, self-efficacy, and autonomy. Making decisions on one’s terms reduces feelings of helplessness and increases self-esteem, contributing to overall mental well-being – a trait embodied by “Sally,” the Proverbs 31 woman.

In essence, you can be a Proverbs 31 woman without succumbing to feelings of failure. Embrace reasonable independence, as demonstrated by “Sally,” and remember that striving for excellence, not perfection, is the goal. The next time you read these verses, focus on the achievable aspects through the lens of balanced independence.

Remember: A Proverbs 31 Lifestyle is about Reasonable Independence

In conclusion, as we delve into the transformative lessons from “Sally,” the Proverbs 31 woman, let’s tie it back to this year’s overarching theme at Makin’ Macon – self-care. In a world that often demands more than we think we can give, understanding and embracing reasonable independence becomes a cornerstone of self-care.

Just as laughter is celebrated as the #1 medicine in a previous post, reasonable independence emerges as a vital prescription for maintaining a healthy and balanced life. “Sally’s” story invites us to consider self-care not merely as a personal indulgence but as a strategic approach to navigate the demands of our roles.

So, as you navigate the intricate tapestry of womanhood, marriage, and motherhood, do it with the understanding that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a conscious choice to prioritize your well-being, to seek support when needed, and to make decisions that contribute positively to your mental health.

In the spirit of Makin’ Macon’s focus on self-care this year, let “Sally’s” wisdom be your guide. Embrace reasonable independence, communicate openly with your loved ones, and remember that your pursuit of a Proverbs 31 lifestyle is not about perfection but about living with intention and authenticity.

Here’s to a journey of self-discovery, self-care, and reasonable independence – may it lead you to a life filled with fulfillment, joy, and the kind of balance that “Sally,” the Proverbs 31 woman, so beautifully exemplifies.

the Proverbs 31 Lifestyle

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