Being a Mary in a Martha World: Finding Peace in Presence Over Perfection

The holidays are here! I mean literally right here. I blinked yesterday, and suddenly my baby girl was turning fifteen, getting her permit, and we’re diving headfirst into end-of-year festivities. The gatherings are piling up, from church services to family get-togethers, and while there’s nothing wrong with the hustle, if we’re not careful, we’ll miss the point entirely. We’ll be so busy running around like Martha, ensuring every detail is perfect, that we might miss our chance to be like Mary—sitting at Jesus’ feet, soaking up every word.

Being Busy is One of the Reasons I’m Late Posting This Month!

Now, before you think I’m here to knock on Martha, I’m not! Martha had beautiful intentions, and maybe I’m a little defensive because I feel like a Martha most days. I’m the one hovering, trying to make sure everyone has a cup in hand, the pillows are just right, and the sourdough cinnamon rolls are hot out of the oven. I want people to feel welcomed the moment they walk through the door. But the truth is, they’re not coming for my perfectly fluffed pillows (even though they might be hinting about the cinnamon rolls). They’re coming to spend time with us, and sometimes that means setting aside the fluffing and the fussing.

Balancing Service with Presence

I get it—it’s easy to think that being a good host means having it all together, every detail accounted for. Martha thought the same thing, and bless her heart, she was running around trying to make it just right for Jesus! But the thing is, Jesus wasn’t interested in how well Martha had prepared; He was interested in her. Martha was so focused on the “doing” that she missed out on the “being.”

“But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'” — Luke 10:41-42

It’s okay to want things to be nice, but sometimes we need to take a cue from Mary. Just like our friends and family aren’t really coming for the food, Jesus isn’t coming for our checklist of tasks. He wants our time and attention.

Choosing Meaning Over Perfection

With the holidays in full swing, we can feel like every event, every gift, and every detail has to be perfect. But can I encourage you? Let go of the “perfect.” Let go of the stress of trying to live up to every expectation. Your loved ones are there for you, not to critique your table setting or assess your gift-wrapping skills. When it comes to presents, if you can’t afford to buy the latest and greatest, give them something heartfelt. Bake some cookies, make some fresh bread, or if you’re crafty, create a gift with meaning.

My family knows this well. I don’t need a single present, but they still insist on giving me something. The gifts I treasure most are always the ones from the heart. I want my gifts to mean something to the people I give them to, too. The last thing I want to do is spend hard-earned money on something just to find it sitting in a thrift store next month. Gifts with heart will always mean more.

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” — Colossians 3:17

Setting Boundaries for Holiday Peace

Sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves and say, “No, I can’t do it all.” We might have to turn down an invitation or skip out on making every single event. And that’s okay! The holidays aren’t about how many things you can check off; they’re about finding moments to truly connect with Jesus and with the ones you love. Keep the focus on what truly matters, even if it means skipping something.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

Give yourself grace to find joy in what you can do. Maybe you can’t make it to every holiday gathering, but you can still make the season memorable for your family in your own way.

Finding Rest in His Presence Every Day

One way I’ve learned to keep my peace is by starting my day with Jesus. It sounds simple, but when we give Him the first few minutes, we’re better prepared to handle whatever comes our way. Even just five minutes of prayer or reading Scripture can be enough to bring calm to the day.

Trust me when I say that when I skip that time with Jesus, I feel it! The day runs me instead of the other way around, and I’m left wondering where all the time went.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

Choosing Time with Jesus This Holiday Season

The best gift we can give Jesus this holiday season is our time. Martha wanted to do the best for Jesus, and we often find ourselves in that same mindset. But what Jesus wanted most was her presence, just like He wants ours. As we prepare for the busy holiday season, let’s not miss the most important part. Let’s choose to be still, to sit at His feet, and to let Him speak to our hearts.

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” — James 4:8

So, this year, as we gather with family, friends, and loved ones, let’s remember that peace isn’t found in having the perfect holiday. It’s found in making time for the One who gives us peace. Let’s be intentional, let’s be present, and let’s make sure that we’re giving God and the ones we love what they truly want—us.

May this season bring you joy, simplicity, and plenty of moments sitting at Jesus’ feet, knowing that it’s okay to set aside the busy for what really matters.

Remember, I’m always praying for you, even if I don’t know who you are!

Want to read more about less stress during the holidays? Check out the post “Throw the Stress Away”!

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