How to Be a Mary in a Martha World: Find Peace Over Perfection

Sharing is Caring!

The holidays are here! I mean literally right here. I blinked yesterday, and suddenly my baby girl was turning fifteen, getting her permit, and we’re diving headfirst into end-of-year festivities. The gatherings are piling up, from church services to family get-togethers, and while there’s nothing wrong with the hustle, if we’re not careful, we’ll miss the point entirely. Because learning how to be a Mary in a Martha world — especially during the holidays — isn’t about ditching every responsibility. It’s about choosing what matters most.

We’ll be so busy running around like Martha — doing all the things and chasing perfection — that we might miss our chance to slow down. To sit at Jesus’ feet. To find peace over perfection in a season that pulls us in every direction.

Being Busy Feels Like Martha — But It’s Not Always a Bad Thing

Now, before you think I’m here to knock on Martha, I’m not!

Martha had beautiful intentions, and maybe I’m a little defensive because I feel like a Martha most days. I’m the one hovering, trying to make sure everyone has a cup in hand, the pillows are just right, and the sourdough cinnamon rolls are hot out of the oven.

I want people to feel welcomed the moment they walk through the door.

But the truth is… they’re not coming for my perfectly fluffed pillows (even though they might be hinting about the cinnamon rolls). They’re coming to spend time with us. And sometimes that means learning to set aside the fluffing and the fussing — so I can be a little more like Mary in a Martha world.

Balancing Service with Presence: Learning from Mary and Martha

I get it—it’s easy to think that being a good host means having it all together, every detail accounted for.

Martha thought the same thing, and bless her heart, she was running around trying to make it just right for Jesus!

But the thing is, Jesus wasn’t interested in how well Martha had prepared; He was interested in her.

Martha was so focused on the “doing” that she missed out on the “being.”

“But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'” — Luke 10:41-42

It’s okay to want things to be nice. I’m right there with you.

But sometimes, we need to take a cue from Mary. Just like our friends and family aren’t really coming for the food (even if the cinnamon rolls are legendary), Jesus isn’t coming for our checklist either.

He’s coming for us. Our time. Our attention. Our hearts.

That’s what it looks like to find peace over perfection — and to be a little more like Mary in a Martha world.

Choosing Meaning Over Perfection This Holiday Season

With the holidays in full swing, we can feel like every event, every gift, and every detail has to be perfect.

But can I encourage you, friend? Let go of the “perfect.” Let go of the stress of trying to live up to every expectation.

Because choosing meaning over perfection — especially in a season that pulls us in a million directions — is one of the sweetest ways we can find peace.

Your loved ones are there for you, not to critique your table setting or assess your gift-wrapping skills.

They’re coming for you.

When it comes to presents, if you can’t afford to buy the latest and greatest, give them something heartfelt. Bake some cookies, make some fresh bread, or if you’re crafty, create a gift with meaning.

My family knows this well. I don’t need a single present — seriously, just come hug my neck and I’m good — but they still insist on giving me something.

And the gifts I treasure most? They’re always the ones from the heart.

That’s what I want for the gifts I give, too. I want them to mean something. The last thing I want is to spend hard-earned money on something only to see it sitting in a thrift store next month.

Gifts with heart will always mean more.

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” — Colossians 3:17

Setting Boundaries for Holiday Peace (Without All the Guilt)

Sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves and say, “No, I can’t do it all.”

And friend — that’s okay.

We might have to turn down an invitation. Skip out on making it to every single event. Let the Pinterest-perfect plans go.

Because the holidays aren’t about how many things you can check off a list — they’re about finding peace over perfection. They’re about creating space to truly connect with Jesus and with the people we love most.

Even if it means skipping something.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

Give yourself grace to find joy in what you can do.

Maybe you can’t make it to every holiday gathering, but you can still make the season memorable for your family in your own way.

Finding Rest in His Presence Every Day (Even When Life Feels Crazy)

One way I’ve learned to hold onto peace — especially in a Martha world — is by starting my day with Jesus.

I know it sounds simple. Maybe even too simple. But when we give Him those first few minutes, it changes everything.

It doesn’t have to be an hour-long quiet time with color-coded highlighters (although props to you if that’s your thing). Even just five minutes of prayer or reading Scripture can be enough to settle your heart and help you find rest in His presence.

TrusAnd trust me when I say… I feel it when I skip that time with Jesus.

Those are the days when the to-do list runs me instead of the other way around. The days when I look up at bedtime and wonder, where did all the time go?

And maybe — just maybe — we need to ask ourselves: “Are we so busy doing things for Jesus that we forget to be with Jesus?”

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

Finding peace over perfection starts here — in His presence. Every single day.

Choosing Time with Jesus Over Holiday Hustle

The best gift we can give Jesus this holiday season is our time.

Martha wanted to do her very best for Jesus — and if we’re honest, we often find ourselves in that same mindset. Running, doing, preparing.

Jesus cared far more about Mary’s heart than Martha’s hustle.

What Jesus wanted most from Martha wasn’t her menu or her hospitality. It was her presence.

And He wants the same thing from us.

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” — James 4:8

As we prepare for all the gatherings, all the meals, and all the moments this season brings… let’s not miss the most important part.

Let’s choose time with Jesus over holiday hustle.

Because peace isn’t found in the perfect holiday table or the Pinterest-worthy gifts.

Peace over perfection is found in His presence.

So this year, as you gather with family, friends, and loved ones, be intentional. Be present. And know that the greatest gift you can give — to Jesus and to the people sitting around your table — is you.

May this season bring you joy, simplicity, and plenty of moments sitting at Jesus’ feet — knowing it’s okay to set aside the busy for what really matters.

And just in case no one’s told you lately — I’m praying for you, friend. Even if I don’t know your name.

→ Looking for more encouragement about letting go of stress this season?

Check out this post: Throw the Stress Away

Hey there! I’m Susan Raynor, the voice behind Makin’ Macon. As a pastor’s wife, mom of two, and homeschooling mama, my life is full of beautiful chaos—and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Here on the blog, I love sharing a little bit of everything: from faith-filled encouragement to frugal living tips, and of course, recipes that will make your family’s hearts (and bellies) happy. My goal is to bring a smile to your face and a bit of peace to your day, no matter what kind of craziness life throws your way. Let’s navigate this wild ride together, finding joy and laughter even in the messiest moments.

Susan